The “S” Word

The “S” Word


Submission. It’s a word that dates back centuries that is highly misused, abused and often taken out of context when used in referencing preparing for marriage. Before we begin, I want you to pause for a moment and consider what your personal definition of submission is? Most women come to a conclusion that to submit or be submissive to someone is to be bound by or forced to do something for someone else that they may not be willing to do. Or maybe even envision themselves being miserable because someone is telling them what to do and not asking or considering their feelings as a human being. Some women even go as far as to say “I’m not bowing down and submitting to no man” followed by a neck roll and a side eye. If this or anything remotely close to this is what you have defined as what submission is, then I write specifically to set you free today. None of these are accurate examples of what it is to submit to your spouse or future spouse and can all be thrown into the sea of forgetfulness. If however you are demonstrating these characteristics by force, you may want to seek help as they are general traits of an abusive relationship.

What it is to submit

It is not God’s will that women be enslaved to Him or to man by means of submission, but that we give Him the authority to lead us in the direction that He’s already designed for us anyways. In doing so, we are able to get into position to receive who He has designed for us to submit to on earth with God Himself being 1 of 3 participants in a marriage. This is the form of submission in which two people agree to refer a matter to a third party for decision or adjudication. Sounds familiar to me.Submission should not hurt mentally, physically, emotionally and especially not spiritually. The bible says “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:29 -30

Submitting is something that you as a woman should take a sense of strength, pride and confidence in doing when you are preparing yourself for marriage under the covenant of God. It does not mean you lose, but that you are more than a conqueror. To submit to God is an act of establishing order and obedience in your life. When you submit first to Him in obedience, He causes us to triumph over our enemies bringing us out as victors and not victims of our circumstances. Ultimately granting you the strength to overcome whatever it is you may face, giving you a sense of pride in knowing who you belong to and a bold confidence that because you belong to and have submitted to God there’s nothing the enemy can do to hurt you. This is not to say that the devil won’t try to come up against you, but when he does, you’ll have the backing and the protection of your father because of the order you have established in your life through first submitting to God. We as human beings complicate life when we choose to operate in our own will and not in the will of God. Let’s go further.

Being Single and Submitting.

There is nothing wrong with seeing the world, having a good time, becoming financially stable or placing yourself in an atmosphere to intercept your Boaz. What God does see as a problem is when you make the choice to submit yourself to all these things but fail to make time for Him. It’s equivalent to planning a wedding without the groom. You got the venue, you paid for the honeymoon, the cake is 7 tiers, you have the music and seating selection but you didn’t make time to prepare for the main character in your lifetime story so now it’s just you and your bridesmaids at the altar. While you are waiting God has commanded you in 1 Corinthians 7:33 – 35 to devote yourself to the Lord in body and in spirit. No this does not mean you are to become a nun; not that it would be a problem or wrong, but simply put it means find yourself serving in ministries at your church and in your community for magnification of the Lord. It means in lieu of going to Cabo, Cancun or Belize on girls trip, go on a mission trip to uplift and build the Kingdom in various parts of the world. Most importantly, it means to make time for the groom that being God through prayer, fasting, meditation, and studying his word. In doing so you allow yourself the time to gain wisdom, direction, comfort, blessings, clarity and all that you may seek out of life while you are yet waiting on your mate. It will be in this time that you are able to evolve into the woman God needs you to be for the man He has designed for you. In my own opinion, I don’t believe that you can successfully arrive at your destined ordained relationship without going through this process.

Before you submit to man, you must submit to God

In order to successfully understand what it is to submit to a man, you must first be able to submit to God. Without first submitting yourself to God you are asking for a world wind of problems when getting into a committed relationship with anyone. You have no order because you did not allow yourself the time to learn how it is supposed to operate. It’s the same as jumping behind the wheel of an 18 wheeler with a class C driver’s license. It wouldn’t require special training to drive an 18 wheeler if anyone could do it. Sure you can turn it on, but can you go forward without hitting the vehicle in front of you? Can you reverse without damaging the rear of the truck or the contents within? Can you accelerate without the fear of crashing and ultimately injuring those that are around you? Skipping steps and jumping in relationships will surely have you on a continuous path to jumping from relationship to relationship inflicting potential hurt on yourself and those around you. Spare yourself from going on a relationship spree only for it end the same way it did before. Spare yourself and those around you from being hurt by your refusal to establish order in your life through submission. I’ve heard the saying time and time again that God is a gentleman and will not force himself into your life. The key is not to just allow God to be invited to the party of your life, but to let Him orchestrate the events as well by submitting to his lead and letting him guide you in the direction He has destined for you to go. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. Proverbs 3:6


That is all,


The Mrs.


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