Addressing those character and physical flaws


the mrs

Photo Credit to Keldrick Johnson

Be humbly willing to address your character and physical flaws.

I CAN’T STAND IT when a woman says, “If he can’t love me for me then we simply aren’t meant to be” or even “He’s going to have to love me for who I am”. Taps mic….Excuse me but with all due respect……….. No he won’t and No he don’t. Listen up married women because some of this is for you too. If you’re not willing to evolve and become better for your future beau or spouse i.e. spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically etc., then you aren’t worth the time of day you’re trying to attract. No man wants to drink from stagnant water. Let your river flow honey and lead to the deepest parts of the ocean. Ask yourself, “Would I want a man that was a one trick pony or narrow minded enough to believe that the earth is flat?” You probably wouldn’t. So why dish out less than what you expect to receive?

Spiritual Evolution

Where is your prayer life? Do you have one? Are you just hoping that the first thing with hazel eyes, broad shoulders, all of his teeth and a job believes in the same God as you? Seriously, have you asked yourself these questions? If not, what exactly are you expecting to get? I know I’m asking a lot of questions and maybe I’m getting all in your business but someone needs to especially if you haven’t. You are spinning your wheels if you have not sat down with The Father in search of where He is directing you to stay or go. You ever heard the phrase “You get what you pay for”? The same goes with what you pray for if it is in God’s will. 1 Corinthians 7:34 tells us “An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs; her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.” So if this is not where you are, there is no time like the present to get there.

Mental Evolution

Are you crazy? No seriously are you? Was “I Busted the Window out Your Car” the theme of your previous relationship(s)? Did you find yourself feeling real high strung over the guy who you allowed to tip toe in and out your life for over 2 years and wonder why you never met his family? It’s definitely time to let that go my darling. There’s a healthy amount of crazy and a there’s the “You’re going to get yourself caught up in a situation” kind of crazy. Which one are you? Going from relationship to relationship prior to decompressing the hurt, pain and shame the previous one may have put you through is not healthy for you and definitely not for your future relationship. Not to mention it’s not fair that you bring that hurt into a relationship with a man who initially out the gate does not deserve it. Before you can even consider bringing another significant other in your life, work on the single you. Read intellectually stimulating materials that challenge and change your thought process on current practices. Take a mental health day. Most employers offer these days however many times we fail to take them out of fear of spending time with ourselves and getting to the real issues in our lives.

Physical Evolution

The physical evolution of you does not just mean slapping on a coat of paint and calling it a beat face. It encompasses the entire package so LET’S SWEAT!!! Truth… I do not like to work out. Yes I said it. But the truth of the matter is, I want to be on this earth as long as God would have me. To go a little further, I want to be on this earth as long as my family i.e. HUSBAND, kid, loved ones and friends would have me. I want to grow old with my husband and talk about our great-great grandchildren and their choice of hair styles and music. Your physical evolution is not just for you it’s for others around you as well. In reality you want to be the wife that can keep up with your spouse in every way possible (wink, wink). Don’t let physicality’s become a hindrance in your relationship before it can get started. Also don’t shorten the time you have on earth by not doing what is good and healthy for you. No I am not advocating that we all become size zeros together. My man likes curves anyway. I am however suggesting that we make a conscious effort to take care of the one total package that God blessed us with.

If you want to be in meaningful relationship, prepare yourself for growth in the mentioned areas. Narrow minded thinking suffocates the nucleus of a relationship. This is why it is so important to try new things prior to as well as with your beau. Go to new places, on new adventures, to each other’s places of worship, read new materials, heck turn left instead of right just to find out what’s down the street you’ve never been on. If he’s sees you’re actually willing to go….who knows where he might lead you next.


That is all!

The Mrs.


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8 thoughts on “Addressing those character and physical flaws

  1. I love this post Mia Gutter. I used to be the “take me as I am girl”, but when I met Nathan we just naturally started growing together, and evolving to better people. We push each other and I think that’s important in a relationship.


  2. This is a great read! I definitely agree that you have to be willing to change, in order to grow in all ways. Why be the same ol’ you in all relationships? Obviously something isn’t right with you if your on BF #4 and there is no future in site. I love this one Mrs. 🙂


  3. This raises very good thinking points for those in search of Mr. Right. The one thing that spoke volumes is the Physical Evolution. I thought that once I got grown I would just let my “grown-woman” shape do what it do so to speak. In other words, I would be cute and fill out in all the right places and my spouse would be attracted and drawn to the grown woman he sees on the outside. Well that has been brought to the light in this platform. Letting your body (as I would say) “do what it do until it don’t no more” is not the way to go. We have this treasure in earthen vessels. I’m convicted because how I treat my earthen vessel impacts how effective the treasure within is. If the treasure within me is overshadowed by my lack of concern for the housing thereof, how can my Boaz see me? How can he see the treasure in me if I’m too out of shape and lazy to go into the field and work? Not to mention as I get older and marry my husband I still want to be able to keep up (wink wink).lol Message received and duly noted. #headedtothegym lol


  4. This is right on time. I’ve been working on my spiritual evolution, which is a constant. This past Sunday someone I consider to be a great mentor told me I had to let go of somethings. She said I was blocking my “new” by holding on to the “old”. This same issue was double-tapped by a close friend yesterday. So now I can say that I am working on my mental evolution as well. To be honest, I was that “crazy” one.


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